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Sunday, May 29, 2005

Picture = 1,000 Words 

Nuke the mullahs.

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Thursday, May 19, 2005

Cookie Advice 

Gerard offers us some tidbits of wisdom:
Do not, I repeat, consume boutique chocolate chip cookies. Pass by these scented and seductive venues of the Fifth Horseman. Deny them your essence.

Instead, know that small batch, hand and homemade chocolate chip cookies are the only chocolate chip cookies that exist in the realm of the Sacred and the Holy. Indeed, if Nestles, dairy farms and refrigeration had existed at the time of the Last Supper the entire menu of Holy Communion would be different today.

Good advice. As a person who has trouble with alcohol, I can tell you it would be nice if communion was milk and tollhouse cookies. And then maybe a little nap...but it ain't all sweetness and light:
This dictatorial method of getting all the cookies only served me well for a few years. It fell apart on the day it came to my attention that my "little" brother had at last grown large enough to kick my ass when it came to taking more than my share of cookies.

On that day I was also foolish enough to kick back in an effort to retain my rightful share of all the cookies. A small war broke out in the kitchen which caused my mother to come in from the laundry room, break us up, take all the cookies away and cast both my brother and I into the slough of despond by uttering the phrase no child ever, ever wishes to hear from his mother: "Wait till your father gets home."

Sigh.

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A Hanson-esque Essay 

After a hiatus, Bill does it again. My favorite bit:
Is humiliation the same as torture? It is not -- that's why the words are spelled differently. To get to the heart of the difference, assume you were a prisoner at Abu Graib, and your interrogator started to remove your fingers one by one with bolt cutters. How long would it take you to beg to be posed with women’s panties on your head? Yeah, I thought so.

My thoughts EXACTLY. He hits so many perfect notes in this thing it's like a symphony orchestra. Read it all (if you have the time). It should be required reading for all morons who are getting ready to go out and march for tyranny, viciousness and oppression against freedom and decency, protected by those they protest.

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Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Moving On 

Well, I've been on pins and needles all day today. That would be because it was the last material hurdle of selling my house: the dreaded FHA inspection the buyer had to have done for their financing. Turns out I've maintained my house better than I thought...we passed with flying colors. You can go to any mls database search and find it at MLS #3030831...I'm rather pleased with the pictures my agent came up with. It catches the colors pretty nicely.

The colors...ah, yes. You see, one night my then-fiance and I were sitting watching "Fools Rush In". If you've seen it, then you'll remember the scene where Matthew Perry's character comes home to find that his new wife and in-laws (all Mexican) have redecorated his house in wild Mexican colors. As soon as I saw that, it was all over but the crying. All that was necessary was to put a little different twist on the colors to make them more northern and our decor was born.

Our first realtor told us we should consider repainting the entire interior of the house in more neutral colors. Phbbbbbbbt. You're fired, lady. The next realtor loved it, and said it just needed the right buyer. My kind of lady.

So who buys the house? A couple where the man is caucasion-American and the woman is Hispanic...EXACTLY like the movie. They say we have "Mexican spirit". Heh. They have a little girl about 6. I think it was her that decided they would be buying the house. Very fun. I like the idea that a nice family will take over the place instead of the vulture-like investors that have been snapping up all the decent houses in our neighborhood.

Anyway, that clears the deck for us to complete buying our dream house and moving upstate at the end of June. I'll post pics at some point, once I take some and figure out how to host them for free. I never, ever thought I'd live in a house like the one we'll be closing on July 1. It will be a grand day.

The American dream is alive and well, people.

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Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Media Bias is Getting Serious 

And it's starting to hit close to home.

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Them's Fightin' Words 

Derb just made himself a target.

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Monday, May 16, 2005

How Soon We Forget 

Remember when Palestinian Muslim swine took over the Church of the Nativity and descrated it in the foulest terms while stealing everything they could from it?

I guess that means we can go out and kill, loot, riot and wipe our asses with Korans now, huh? Oh, that's right, that sort of behavior is only excusable when it's the Muslims doing it while using our Leftist media's false reports as a pretext. Gah.

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Housecleaning Time and a Proposal 

Perhaps you've heard about the Newsweek kerfluffle. You know, the one where yet ANOTHER left-leaning "news" source got it wrong, only this time over a dozen people are dead and our enemy got another (false) propaganda victory.

Dan Rather, Jayson Blair, Eason Jordan, and the list goes on...It's time to clean house. I mean seriously. I don't believe any of these people even wrote for a college paper. *I* wrote for my college paper. If I would have brought a single story with even a single unnamed source, or unconfirmed by another source, they wouldn't have run it. These people make a very healthy living off of cranking out single-unnamed-source tripe, and now it's starting to get people killed.

I propose that every single current news-related employee of every newspaper, magazine, television station and radio station in the entire world be summarily fired and replaced by tribbles. They would be more reliable and a hell of a lot cuter.

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Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Master of the Fisk 

Early in my "awakening" from my long liberal nightmare, I discovered Tim Blair. He stuck out because he was a non-American who seemed not to hate America, plus he delivers a fisking that will strip the varnish off a footlocker.

Don't make this guy mad at you. And to judge from his excerpt, Omar at Iraq the Model isn't bad either.

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Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Evil US Military 

Here's your evil military, dirty Leftist scum. As you look at that picture, keep in mind that there are people in this country who enjoy more freedom than any people in the history of humanity who revile that soldier and cheer on the vile vermin that killed that child.

There are no words for the contempt in which I hold the Left these days, and it really started when I read the words "Screw them". I just absolutely cannot believe I used to be a "liberal". I'm so ashamed.

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Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Good Lord 

The world is getting to be too weird a place for me.

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